How to Be a Thought Detective

Lessons you can share with your kids or with your inner child.

#4 How to Be a Thought Detective

Now that you know that events are just facts (they are neutral) and that any feelings or emotions associated with an event is coming from you (not from the event), it is time to get curious!

Close your eyes and try to remember the first time you felt this uncomfortable feeling.

• When have you felt this way before?
• How old were you?
• What was happening in this memory?
• How did you judge yourself in this memory? Did you judge yourself as bad, weak, powerless, guilty, not good enough, stupid, a victim, or worthless?
• Anything else?

 
Whatever judgement you made of yourself in that memory became a belief that you still carry around with you. Every time you feel that same feeling it is because that belief was triggered.
 
The good news is that the judgement you made and the belief about you that you have was made up by you and was never true! You can now work on challenging that belief. The truth about you is that you are exactly as you are meant to me. Nothing missing, nothing wrong with you. You have the same value as every other being on the planet. You don’t have to prove your worth – it is already set.
 
You see, you have two ‘selfs’. You have your ego ‘self’ that is made up by you. I call that part the ‘Made up Monster’. The Made-up Monster believes that she is bad, guilty, never good enough, not worthy, unlovable and many more. The Self that you truly are is the Magnificent Being (peaceful, worthy, loving). The Made-up Monster never stops telling you loudly how unworthy you are, while the Magnificent Being just whispers in a barely audible voice “you’re OK as you are, you’re worthy, you’re enough, you have everything you need, happiness is yours whenever you want it”. The trick is to tune into your inner Magnificent Being and ignore your Made-up Monster. Easier said than done, but you can do it!
 
By being a feelings finder and a thought detective you can gradually figure out what your Made-up Monster looks like and how to make it smaller. By meditating, being mindful and being grateful, you can learn about your Magnificent Being and how to tune in to that.
 
Action Steps:

1. Describe your made-up monster by following your uncomfortable feelings to early memories and seeing what it was that you made up in those memories. Tell a parent about your made-up monster – they’ll help you to understand that you made it up and it doesn’t exist anywhere except in your thoughts. 
2. Connect with your Magnificent Being by finding five things to be grateful for every day. Keep a journal to remind you of all the things there are to be grateful for.