Lessons you can share with your kids or with your inner child.
#7 Self-Esteem and Your Worth
It is likely you have heard of self-esteem and you probably know when you have high self-esteem and when your self-esteem is low. Your self-esteem generally comes from evidence about yourself that you receive from others or from exam results or from the things other people say about you. So, if you have a bad score on a test, or you don’t score a goal in a soccer game, you might feel bad about yourself. If you do well in school or someone says a kind thing about you, you might get a boost for your self-esteem. Self-esteem varies depending on circumstances.
Here’s the thing: We are all born the same way – as innocent babies. One baby is not more or less important than another. We have exactly the same value no matter the colour of our skin or the place we are born. No matter how much money our parents have or don’t have. Disabled or able-bodied makes no difference. Sure, some babies are likely to have easier lives than others depending on their family circumstances, but their potential is the same and never changes whether they achieve anything or not.
Your worth (value)
Many people (actually most people) think that some people are more valuable than others, but it’s not true. Your worth just is and you don’t have to earn it.
Your worth does not depend on anything you do or you don’t do. It doesn’t depend on what you achieve or don’t achieve. It doesn’t depend on how sporty you are or how good at schoolwork you are. It doesn’t depend on whether or not you can carry a tune or remember a poem. It is there – an infinite amount - no matter what. AND IT IS THE SAME FOR EVERYONE. Your worth is no more and no less than the most popular boy or girl in school. It is no more and no less than the smartest kid in your school.
So… take your self-esteem from knowing that your worth is the same as that of everyone else. Knowing that is a way to make sure that your self-esteem stays high and never changes. Don’t ever look at external evidence for your sense of self-esteem. Keep it high knowing that you are worthy no matter what. I use the term Inherent Worth to refer to that idea of having huge worth just by being.
Keep your head up because you have equal worth with the person you admire the most. Remember that.
Every morning, look in the mirror and remind yourself: “I am enough as I am.” Try it?
I know firsthand the emotional and financial costs of having a troubled teenager and I don’t want that to happen to you. That's why I wrote my book What They Don't Teach in Prenatal Class: The Key to Raising Trouble-Free Kids and Teens (available on Amazon).