Anne Andrew
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Suicide Prevention Begins in Preschool – Five Things You Can Do Right Now to Help your Child Grow up Mentally Healthy

6/15/2017

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Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in 15 to 34 year-olds and is three times more prevalent in boys than in girls. 
The root causes of mental health problems that can lead to suicide are established in early childhood. The good news is that there is a way to reverse the effects. The sooner you can start helping your child (and yourself) to fully understand that your worth is intrinsic the better.
Typically, suicide prevention strategies focus on awareness of depression and on 

recognizing the warning signs of impending suicide. Treatment is hospitalization or prescription of anti-depressants, which, ironically, have suicide as a potential side-effect. These strategies haven’t worked well. Suicide is poised to take over from accidents as the leading cause of death in the 15 to 24 age group in Canada.
There is another approach – a longer-term solution. Suicide can be seen as the end-result of negative self-talk that has become unbearable. The sense of worthlessness and hopelessness can eventually lead to a person believing that the world would be better off without them. What they need to know is that their worth is intrinsic – that we all have inherent worth. Our worth doesn’t depend on what we do or what we don’t do – it just is.
This concept was the cornerstone for my own recovery from chronic depression, which plagued my life since I was in my teens. This concept can lead to recovery from addiction, even in severe cases, so it is a concept that we must teach children as young as possible. The negative beliefs that strengthen over the years if left unchallenged are set in the first few years of a child’s life. 
How can you teach this concept – that we all have worth by virtue of simply being?
Here are five suggestions:
  1. Teach by example in the way that you treat everyone else. We all have intrinsic worth, so you must treat everyone with respect. Your children must see this and there must be no exceptions (not telemarketers nor parking attendants). If your child sees that you treat some people with disdain or unfriendliness, they will doubt that everyone has inherent worth and this will open the door for them to doubt their own worth. The simplest way to show respect for a person is with a smile – flash your best grin at everyone you meet today, including the person begging on the street, and see what happens! 
  2. Redefine success as inner peace and happiness rather than as academic achievement or financial gain. Your reactions to your child’s achievements must reflect this. Check your expectations and aspirations for your child. Are you hoping that your child will make you proud or are you curious about who they are and what they will do? Allow your child to take the lead in discovering the things he or she is passionate about and avoid signing them up for the activities you’d like them to succeed in. Children get stressed by too much programming. They need enough time to play and playing is crucial to healthy mental development. 
  3. Have a gratitude habit – gratitude is a wonderful antidote for negative self-talk. Be specific with your gratitude so that your children will learn to see the world with radical amazement. So if you develop a bedtime routine in which you share your gratitude with your child and then they say what they are grateful for, start by saying something like “I’m grateful for the way the trees rustle when the breeze blows through them”. That way your child will be encouraged to notice the little beautiful things that often go unnoticed. Every book on happiness has a chapter on gratitude and keeping a gratitude journal has been shown to increase happiness.
  4.  Show children that they matter by listening to them with your full attention. Turn off cell phones and other devices when you are having a chat with your child. Look into their eyes and maintain eye contact to let them know you are there fully. Express your confidence in their ability to problem-solve. 
  5. Encourage mindfulness and meditation. This helps you and your children to focus inwards to find the source of peace and strength and puts you in touch with the part of you that is intrinsically worthy. There are numerous online resources for meditating with children. Meditating yourself will give your children the strong message that you care about yourself and set a good example. 
Check out Barbara Coloroso's website, it's a great resource!
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     I know firsthand the emotional and financial costs of having a troubled teenager and I don’t want that to happen to you. That's why I wrote my book What They Don't Teach in Prenatal Class: The Key to Raising Trouble-Free Kids and Teens (available on Amazon). 
    My goal is to reduce the incidence of teen suicide and addiction. It can be done by challenging the negative beliefs that our kids develop in early childhood and helping them to become aware of their Inherent Worth. 

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