Thanksgiving: Not just a holiday, but a way of life that leads to happiness.

It’s both Canadian Thanksgiving and the Jewish thanksgiving festival of Sukkot this weekend, so it would be remiss of me not to mention the power of gratitude in raising happy children. In my opinion, the single most important thing that you can do to help children to grow up with a positive attitude is to have a gratitude habit as a family. Scientific studies have linked gratitude with happiness – it’s a defense against depression. If you don’t already have a family gratitude habit, Thanksgiving would be a great time to start. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Decide on a time. Will this be a daily thing or once a week? At bedtime? After school? At dinner?
2. Decide on a place. Will this be in the car between activities? At the kitchen or dining room table? In the den on movie night? In bed?
3. Decide how: Will this be just one parent with one child? Will the whole family be involved at the same time? Who goes first? Do you want to pass a token such as a talking stick around the family circle? Will you record each gratitude in a journal? Will gratitude be expressed for one thing or five things? After each person has said what they are grateful for will you have a second round? Will you incorporate any other rituals such as lighting candles or putting a quarter in a money bank for each gratitude and donating it to a charity?
4. I recommend being very specific and having an adult go first. This way you will teach children to notice the wonder of the world around them and the kindnesses that people extend every day. For example, if you say “I’m grateful for the colors of the leaves that have fallen in the street” or “I’m grateful for the smile I received from a woman at the grocery store today”, then children will begin to be more specific as well and they’ll be looking for things to say for their next gratitude session.

Prepare to be amazed – this can reduce whining and increase family cohesion and positivity. There’s really no downside!
If there are any teachers reading this – please consider having a classroom gratitude habit at the beginning or end of each day if you don’t already.