“Hey, wait a minute,” you may be thinking “Of course I love my children unconditionally!”
I know I thought that – that is until my daughter went off the rails as a teenager in a dramatic way. The way back for our family was by learning to love unconditionally. We learned it the hard way and I don’t want that to happen to you.
We discovered that although we thought we were a loving caring family, and certainly anyone who knew us would have agreed, our parenting was largely fearful making unconditional love virtually impossible. We had worries about our children’s futures, and expectations of what that should look like for each of them. We felt we needed to shape them into fine humans rather than simply to accept them as they are. The good news for us was that it was possible with a few simple techniques, to learn to love without fearand to become more effective parents as a result.
You can do a quick assessment of how much fear versuslove there is in your own parenting style by taking the quiz below:
Are you Parenting with Love or with Fear?
Circle your answers (Download quiz here):
Score 1 point for every odd numbered question you answered ‘yes’ to and 1 point for every even numbered question that you answered ‘no’ to.
How did you do?
If you scored less than 5 points – you are operating from a loving place most of the time. More than 5 points and fear is creeping into your parenting. Most of us operate from a fearful place until we become aware of it.
The blog series that I will publish over the next five weeks will help you to move from fear to love, not only in parenting, but in life in general. In part two we’ll establish that unconditional love is rarely that, but is possible if we remove the barriers against it that we have. Part three will explain how those barriers get started and strengthened. Part four will show you how to begin to remove the barriers. Part five will explore the importance of loving ourselves in order to love another. Part six will give a list of practical suggestions for helping children to understand their Inherent Worth in order to counter their negative beliefs and be able to receive the love that is offered.
I know firsthand the emotional and financial costs of having a troubled teenager and I don’t want that to happen to you. That's why I wrote my book What They Don't Teach in Prenatal Class: The Key to Raising Trouble-Free Kids and Teens (available on Amazon).